F*ck The Patriarcy

Artwork by Boss Dotty (Available as a card here)

Brett Kavanaugh was confirmed to the Supreme Court today. I, like women across America, have a lot of feelings about that.

I believe Dr. Christine Blasey Ford. I believe that Brett Kavanaugh may not remember it, due to drink, and the fact that for him it was playing, while for her it was trauma. I believe Mark Judge may have forgotten about it, as it didn't significantly alter the course of his life. Or maybe he's just protecting his friend, and jumping on top of them was a way to stop it because he could see what was happening. That, I honestly don't know.

I know that Judge Kavanaugh was very good at playing the role he was raised for.

When I first wrote this post (it's been a long day, and I've rewritten this post several times, only to then lose it and have to start over) I decided to write about my own experiences. My rape. My sexual assault. But why should I have to? Why should we women have to keep ripping ourselves open and exposing our most vulnerable parts in order to be believed and validated?

I can't prove what happened to me. But I know. And the men who hurt me know what they did.

The bar to convict someone of a crime is understandably high. One should have a significant amount of evidence in order to justify the revocation of liberty and the loss of freedom. But no one was asking for Judge Kavanaugh to be incarcerated. All that was asked for was that...perhaps...he shouldn't get to serve on the most powerful court in America.

I have to say, Brett Kavanaugh is fulfilling his promise as a white prep school boy. I also grew up in an affluent and conservative area, albeit on the other coast. It was made clear to me at a very young age that young men held promise, and we were not to get in their way. As long as they held up the image of respectability in public, they could pretty much do whatever they wanted in private.

We, as female bodies, were their entertainment. It was our job to protect ourselves, but we also were taught we were taught we weren't smart enough to interpret our own experiences. Things that happened to us were downplayed. Boys will be boys, after all. Of course, that was if we told anyone. #WhyIDidntReport has become a thing in these last few weeks and I'm struck by how often our reasons revolved around either the inability to be believed or the need to protect men in our lives from all the feelings they might have about what was done to our bodies when no one was looking.

These last few weeks have shown me a few things. Not the least of which is that the Patriarchy that supports the elite white men in our country, must be pulled down,, brick by fucking brick, with our bare hands. With it will come homophobia, transphobia, misogyny, ableism, and white supremacy. 

We are strong enough. We are capable enough. We must do it. 

In November we will go out and vote. But beyond that, we need to run for office. We need to get involved. We need to show up in an intersectional way for our brothers and sisters who are also fighting battles against the system that drowns out our voices.

I have been violated. But I am all done being a victim. Who's with me?